I was in my happy place—up against the rail at a rock concert. One of my favorite bands was minutes away from taking the stage. My insides thrummed with excitement. Anticipation coursed through me, and I felt a tingle from my head to my… oh no. I looked at my husband, who had seen that look in my eyes before. I grimaced as my eyes fell upon the sea of people I would need to get through to find relief, while hopefully not relieving myself along the way.
That night, I made it just barely. But other times, I am not so fortunate. Thanks to my friend urinary incontinence, I have spent more time in bathrooms than my three daughters did while potty training. I know where bathrooms are wherever I go, even if I am simply passing through. I have compared my life to a series of bathroom breaks spread out between everything else I have to do between waking and sleeping. It isn’t glamorous, but some days, it’s all I’ve got.
I’ve been diagnosed with two forms of UI: stress incontinence and overactive bladder. My stress incontinence comes from weakened pelvic floor muscles due to pregnancies and childbirth, which led to two instances of pelvic organ prolapse requiring surgical intervention, and a diagnosis of interstitial cystitis (IC). Overactive bladder is a symptom of IC and one of the symptoms that keeps me on my toes (and toilet) the most.
Twice as many women than men are diagnosed with UI, so I know this is not something I must deal with on my own. I have great medical insurance and a team of specialists and doctors who help me manage my symptoms and try to live my best life. But I keep hearing the same thing over and over again: “But you’re so young to be dealing with this,” because typically older women experience UI more often than younger women. However, at one month shy of turning 36, I know that UI doesn’t care how old I am.
There is no part of my life that is not affected by UI. From going out to dinner and drinks with friends to spending time with my kids and even intimacy with my husband, there is no time that I am not cognizant of my bladder. I know that urinary incontinence is pretty high up there on the list of Medical Issues No One Wants to Talk About, which is why I think we need to talk about it more. I feel no shame when I slide that pantyliner on in the morning, knowing that it will act as a barrier, allowing me to remain as confident as I possibly can be. I know I am doing all I can to keep living and loving the best way I know how—walking through this world, head held high, and not only because I’m trying to find the restroom.